Purpose, Passion, & Prayer.

Hmmm. I don’t how to best explain this right now, but I feel as if I have failed. As if I have given up on a dream. It continues to haunt me that maybe I didn’t work hard enough or maybe I am just not good enough. In times like these, I usually try to encourage myself. Thats the best thing we can do for ourselves is minister to our own hearts and minds, when were ready to give up. I have been praying and praying, but boy is the DEVIL preying on me lately. I am working hard to fight him. When I find my strength is lacking to the point, I can’t even pray. I just simply call on the name of Jesus and He hears my cry. My hope is that God will begin to turn around my heart, even my circumstances will change. I am struggling to say the least. I will be off tumblr for the next week in my dying need of fasting from social network. You can contact me via email victoria.pouncy@aol.com

godmoves: When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me Father of love, You can have me You can have me If You’re all You claim to be Then I’m not losing anything So I will crawl upon my knees Just to know the joy of suffering I will love You enough to let go Lord, I give you my life I give you my life

” LORD, may the cry of my heart be heard. May fleshly desires be silenced, so that I may hear your will is clear. Let the tears of anguish rage in my soul, that your strength bring tranquility to my aching heart. Peace reigns in the mercy you have for me. The sweat of doubts and fears are cleared away by your majesty. May joy be released in my suffering, that it may be the catalyst of my freedom. As the chains are broken, I am washed. Washed, covered, cleansed by your everlasting, REDEEMING blood. LORD, this is my prayer for strength. YHWH draw near to me, my Beautiful strong tower.” original poem by Victoria Pouncy (TM)

Today was hard. Last night, my aunt had a stroke and was rushed to the hospital. It pains me to know that she was in pain. When my mother told me this morning, I broke down. Most people who know me know that I am a very emotional person. However, yesterday was the first time I had truly cried in the past 2 months which is a long time for me. Like many trials and tribulations in my life, it brings me to knees and I begin to question God. I slowly doubt and become angry with a Sovereign Creator. I know that God has a greater plan for my life and I trust in His timing. But I can’t help but think woe is me. God recently revealed to me that one of my spiritual gifts is discernment. Various circumstances have happened lately, but God put a sense of anxiousness in me. I knew a storm was coming. Like my mom always tells me to “Praise God before the storm begins to rage.” This certainly gives me peace. This is only the beginning, but God is so sovereign and merciful.  I prayed today unlike I have ever prayed in awhile. I was humbled by the grace and power of God. Not in the power of weakness, but in the power of overflowing strength. I once was defeated by my own desires, yet God pulled me out my anguish and showed me how great His strength. For that, all I can say is Thank you Lord.

 I call to you, LORD, come quickly to me;     hear me when I call to you.  May my prayer be set before you like incense;     may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.   Set a guard over my mouth, LORD;     keep watch over the door of my lips.  Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil     so that I take part in wicked deeds  along with those who are evildoers;     do not let me eat their delicacies. Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness;     let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head.  My head will not refuse it,     for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers. Their rulers will be thrown down from the cliffs,     and the wicked will learn that my words were well spoken.  They will say, “As one plows and breaks up the earth,     so our bones have been scattered at the mouth of the grave.”  But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD;     in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.   Keep me safe from the traps set by evildoers,     from the snares they have laid for me.  Let the wicked fall into their own nets,     while I pass by in safety.